The Spirit of God Allows for Closure

Sometimes unexpected, unwanted, unbelievable, or unacceptable things happen—with or without a good explanation—that shake up everything we consider normal.

Many believe that understanding the reasons why something happened allows the mind and heart to find closure.

But understanding and closure are not always the same.

Sometimes, even when we have answers, our minds and hearts struggle to accept Life's Happenings.

And sometimes, there are no answers.

No explanation.

No apology.

No reconciliation.

No opportunity for the conversation.

No understanding of why.

No ending that satisfies the heart.

The Spirit of God allows for closure. That does not necessarily mean the circumstances provide closure.

Meanwhile, Life Continues…

Responsible Adulting does not automatically include time off to come to terms with forced, unwanted, unexpected, unbelievable, or unacceptable changes.

Rent or mortgages must be paid.

Family life must adapt or adjust while we work to maintain our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

Work and school may be briefly interrupted.

Unless retired… And even then, responsibilities don't necessarily disappear.

And Then…

Schedules must be resumed.

Responsibilities must be addressed.

Decisions must be made.

Yet, continuing to function does not necessarily mean someone has emotionally adjusted.

A person can fulfill responsibilities, care for others, participate in conversations, and even experience moments of laughter while carrying tremendous HeartAche.

Even when circumstances provide some form of closure, grief and its emotional, physical, and spiritual impacts may still need attention.

And when circumstances provide no closure?

The HeartAche may be accompanied by unanswered questions, disappointment, anger, confusion, fear, frustration, or challenged faith.

What Do You Do When There Are No Answers?

Give it to God.

Four simple words.

But…

Positive Grieving Ain't Easy!

Giving HeartAche, unanswered questions, disappointment, anger, or any emotion troubling you to God…

Ain't Easy!

It is an intentional action that may require practice, patience, frustration, challenged faith, and sometimes a whole lot of HARD FAITH.

Giving it to God may itself be grief work.

You may give Him the HeartAche and later discover you've picked it back up.

Give Him the unanswered question—and still want the answer tomorrow.

Give Him the disappointment—and still feel disappointed.

Give Him the anger, confusion, fear, frustration, or challenged faith—and find yourself struggling with those same emotions again.

And Then…

You may have to intentionally give them to Him again.

Giving something to God does not require pretending you're okay with it first.

Nor does giving it to God always mean letting go of appropriate action.

Sometimes it means surrendering what we cannot control while taking responsibility for what we can.

We may still need to seek answers, establish boundaries, ask for support, or address circumstances requiring attention.

Spiritual surrender and responsible action can coexist.

HARD FAITH

Faith isn't only easy confidence when circumstances make sense.

Sometimes faith sounds like this:

God, I don't understand this.

I don't like this.

I don't have the answer I wanted.

I may never have the answer.

I'm hurting.

I'm angry.

I'm disappointed.

And I'm bringing all of that to You anyway.

Sometimes the emotions are RAW.

HEARTACHE + ANGER + FORCED SELF-CONTROL + TRAUMA

Sometimes all we can manage is:

I am furious.

I am hurting.

I cannot change what happened.

And I am choosing what I do with all of this for the next minute.

Not necessarily the next day.

Not even the next hour.

The next minute.

Because sometimes, that is where intentional self-care and Positive Grieving begin.

And sometimes, that is HARD FAITH.

Not failed faith.

Not absent faith.

Not evidence that someone didn't pray hard enough.

Faith being exercised under resistance.

Positive Grieving Ain't Easy!

Positive Grieving isn't:

Pain → Give it to God → Pain Gone.

It's much more like:

Pain → Awareness → Choice → Give it to God → Struggle → Practice → Sometimes Pick It Back Up → Recognize It → Give It Back → Keep Living.

And sometimes…

Repeat.

There is no requirement to pretend the HeartAche has disappeared.

No requirement to understand everything that happened.

No requirement to be pleased with circumstances that caused pain.

And no requirement to rush toward a feeling of closure simply because others believe enough time has passed.

For some, spiritual closure may mean learning how to live with what remains unresolved and still hurts.

It may mean recognizing that the answer we wanted may never come, while allowing ourselves to experience moments of peace, joy, laughter, love, and gratitude without denying our grief.

HeartAche and HeartSmiles can coexist.

A Moment for Reflection

If you are in need of closure, consider asking yourself:

Am I waiting for an answer that may never come before allowing myself to continue living?

What am I carrying today that I may need to give to God—perhaps more than once?

There is no need to force an answer.

And if the HeartAche is too fresh or too raw to consider those questions today, that deserves compassion, too.

Sometimes we need time.

Sometimes we need support.

Sometimes we need to sit quietly with God.

And sometimes, all we can do is acknowledge what hurts.

When Closure Doesn't Come

Sometimes the closure we hoped for never happens.

Sometimes the person who could provide answers is no longer available.

Sometimes the conversation never takes place.

Sometimes the answers exist, but they do not bring the peace we hoped for.

And sometimes we must learn to live without knowing why.

The Spirit of God allows for closure even when life's circumstances do not.

That doesn't mean the HeartAche disappears.

It doesn't mean we stop caring.

It doesn't mean we forget.

And it doesn't mean we must have everything figured out before continuing to live.

Sometimes it means acknowledging what we cannot change, caring for ourselves and others as we move forward, and trusting God with what remains unresolved.

Sometimes we give it to Him today.

And tomorrow, we may need to give it to Him again.

HARD FAITH. Positive Grieving. Keep Living.

From my heart to yours,

Dianne Lawson 💞